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DEANNA'S BLOG

Inspiration to help you... LIVE WITH MORE PURPOSE

Purpose over Fear!

Posted by Deanna Singh | Jul 16, 2019 12:00:00 PM

Big dogs, little dogs...it didn't matter!  I was afraid of them all.  Keyword: was.  Now, I love dogs!  This week's vlog uncovers the technique I found to overcome my fears and how you can use the same in your life!

 

Final HD Cut for Vlog 7 16 2019

a story about dogs

But first, I want to share a story that’s a little bit embarrassing. Up until a few years ago, I was terrified of dogs, seriously frightened. I would see dogs and want to pet and get close to them, but they just made me incredibly nervous!

One time I was walking with my amazing husband and we walked past a dog.  I started to get nervous and after we passed the dog, my husband said to me, "you know being afraid of is kind of selfish."

I was very taken aback because I am a lot of things and I know that I have tons of flaws, but selfish isn't one that I hear often.

I spend time thinking about others.  It was very surprising he said that. Also, I'd never heard him say that about me before and I didn't understand the connection. How was me being afraid of dogs selfish? 

He explained, "you know when you act like that, when you get nervous around dogs, our children see you get nervous and that is going to be something that ends up scaring them. So while you're thinking in the moment, you are not taking our kids into consideration; that they are watching. Your feelings could lead them down a pathway where they also inherit a fear of dogs."

Now, I still think that that argument was a little bit of a stretch, but his point was well taken.

we think about ourselves so much

When we think about ourselves too much, we sometimes alienate other people and we let that fear keep us from helping ourselves and reaching our purpose.  It also prevents other people who might be watching us or modeling after us from moving forward.

I embraced his critical constructive feedback and decided I was going to, when I saw a dog, instead of thinking about myself and how nervous they made me, I was going to start thinking about how much I wanted my children to be able to appreciate animals.

I started to practice that instead of thinking about myself and my fears. I started to think about my children and the perceived benefit that would happen if I could try and manage my fears more.

Guess what?  No more fear of dogs!

Yes, sometimes if they're super big and I'm not expecting them, I get a little bit surprised.  I actively ask people sometimes if I can pet their dog. I even have a few dogs in the neighborhood I'm friends with now that I love to see!

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the magic of working through fear

If you can think about something that's bigger than you, sometimes that is the magic trick to get through to the other side. Yes, I just said magic trick because thinking about others and connecting yourself to others is one of the things that allows us to step outside of our comfort zone.

Training ourselves in thinking about how our purpose connects to other people and how it impacts other people is an amazing way to get past the things that are scaring us and the things that make us terrified.

That is the tip that I want to share with all of you today. When you are thinking about things that you're afraid of -- whatever is the equivalent of the dog for you in your life -- I want you to stop thinking about how it makes you feel, but instead think about the impact it has on the people around you, the people who need for you to be in your purpose, the people who need for you to get past your fear, and see if that helps. I hope it does!

Can't wait to see you next week until then, Hustle with Purpose.

Topics: Skills, Life, Plan, Initiative, personal development

Written by Deanna Singh

Deanna Singh, Founder/Chief Change Agent of Flying Elephant, is known for giving audiences the tools and courage to imagine, activate, and impact the world as agents of change. She is a trailblazer and dynamic speaker who is at the forefront of social change. She is an accomplished author, educator, business leader, and champion for marginalized communities. Singh earned her Bachelor of Arts in Urban Studies from Fordham University, a Juris Doctorate from Georgetown University, and a Masters in Business Administration from the University of Wisconsin, Madison. She is also the author of two children’s books, I am a Boy of Color, and I am a Girl of Color and a business book, Purposeful Hustle.

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